Even the best plans can change and you can find yourself as a single parent.  You’re not the first and won’t be the last.  Here are a few tips to navigate you through this life-changing time in your life.

1. Keep children out of relationships until you are certain the relationship is going somewhere.  Set a specific time to date and specific time to have one-on-one time with children for fun.
2. Watch your behavior, as this is what children develop.  Would you want the child to have this behavior?
3. Teach the child to respect the new mate.
4. Understand the role the new person is filling for the child.  This is a different role for the child than it is for you.
5. It is important for parents to speak respectfully of the other parent.  Do not diminish the other parent.
6. The new person in the child’s life needs to have positive language towards both parents.  No judgmental conversation.
7. Deal with conflict privately.
8. Make certain the child is not in the middle and not forced to take sides.
9. Keep your word and be honest with the child.
10. Don’t try to compensate with money what the relationship is missing.

Bill McGrane is President of the McGrane Global Centers creators of the Making it Happen and Move Into Your Greatness. The Centers offers, keynotes, seminars, consulting and products that improve individual and organizational performance. You can create highly responsible teams and produce a culture of responsibility.
 Call 859-384-6333 or mcgrane@mcgrane.com or view our web site at www.mcgrane.com

It’s easy to fall into the same thought process trap that leads to unproductive outcomes.  The first step in breaking the cycle is to identify the myriad of thoughts and feelings and weigh them against what you really want.  Sometimes we have to “Hit the Refresh Button” in our minds in order to get past the our own “locked up computer.”

How to reframe a thought - experience or situation

1. Notice what your thinking , feeling, experiencing.

2. Ask yourself  “Do I want to continue?”

What am I thinking, feeling, experiencing and will I get the outcome I want?  If yes then continue.

If no, ask what do I really “times 7” want? That is, take your desired outcome and multiply it by 7!

3. Focus on what you really “times 7” want.  Ask yourself, “Am I taking the steps necessary to make that come true?  What can I say - do - feel to put things into perspective?”

The next step involves the emotion that interferes with thoughts.  Change your feeling of fear into desire.  You will get a new perspective that will energize you and move you toward your outcome. Feel the fear and do it anyway!!!

Okay, you’ve identified what you want, you’ve redirected your fear, but something is still nagging at you.  It is probably unfinished business.  Close out unfinished business as it will distract your energies from your goal.

Following these basic steps will enable you to deal with the issues at hand and run over your fear!.
 
Bill McGrane is President of the McGrane Global Centers creators of the Making it Happen and Move Into Your Greatness. The Centers offers, keynotes, seminars, consulting and products that improve individual and organizational performance. You can create highly responsible teams and produce a culture of responsibility.
 Call 859-384-6333 or mcgrane@mcgrane.com or view our web site at www.mcgrane.com

Why do some companies always seem to be at the top of the performance charts?  No matter how you measure them, they always seem to excel.  What secret do they have that others don’t?

When we decided to search for the secret of their success, we were surprised at how simple the answer was.  Because what we found was so simple, we couldn’t believe so many companies don’t use this secret.

HINT #1:  SUCCESS IS AN ACCIDENT!

An accident as a system? Although this is not the main secret, we discovered that learning by accident is the most implemented system used as a primary success development tool in today’s corporation.  Does this sound familiar?  “Well, that didn’t work, let’s try something else!”

High performance companies always seemed to have a system to produce success no matter what challenge they faced.  The interesting part of this success pattern is that there was a lack of organization when their companies began…  Read more »

If you can’t answer YES to all of the following questions….Then love just might be a foreign language to you.
 
• Do you know how to recognize when you are loved totally and unconditionally?

• Do you know why it is important to love and be loved?  Are you aware of the ways you can demonstrate your love?

How Do You Create the Language of Love?
        
What is the language of love?  How do you know when you are loved totally and unconditionally?  Is it important to love and be loved?  Are you aware of the ways you demonstrate your love?  Can you love everyone you meet?  How do you create the language of love?

Make Your Presence Powerful

First, acknowledge each person you meet.  Give eye contact and use the person’s favorite word - their name!  This is music to their ears.  In addition, give people your undivided attention.  Listen and hear what they have to say.  When was the last time someone really listened to you?  Listening is loving.

Second, appreciate people.  Recognize their existence and presence.  “Start where people are, not where you want them to be.”  “Move in and out of their world on their terms not yours.”  This is the best way to connect with people.  They feel special when they know that someone is really appreciating where they are coming from.

The third simple step is to give affirmation.  An affirmation is a declaration to set in motion a way of being.  Affirmation comes from the Latin affirmare and means to make firm.  Thomas Kane, in his book Happy Are You Who Affirm says, “The healing touch of affirmation means I encourage persons to BE who they are, immaturity and shortcomings included, so that their potential may BE realized.”  Find qualities in people that serve them and give affirmation.  For example, “Michael, you a sensitive person and I congratulate you on how you help others.”  Be specific when giving and affirmation.  Give them freely, daily and then watch what happens!    

Bill McGrane is President of the McGrane Global Centers creators of the Making it Happen and Move Into Your Greatness. The Centers offers, keynotes, seminars, consulting and products that improve individual and organizational performance. You can create highly responsible teams and produce a culture of responsibility.  Call 859-384-6333 or mcgrane@mcgrane.com or view our web site at www.mcgrane.com.

“Do as Jesus did.”  At some point in our lives we have all heard this, and it is a valid statement. However, we soon find that, in our human efforts, it is seldom easy to accomplish. Why? Jesus taught some very basic truths. Why do we find it so difficult to do as He did? The problem is not in what He taught, the difference in His time in history and ours, or in the fact that He was fully God as well as fully man. The problem is in us. Are self-esteem principles meant for Christians? Let’s take a closer look.
 
Jesus was keenly aware of who He was and what He was sent to do. He was secure in His identity. Herein lies the whole of our difficulty. Jesus had healthy self-esteem; most of us do not. He told us to love others as He loves us (John 15:12). He loved others unconditionally. This is how we are to love others, and ourselves.
 
Matthew 22:39 says that the second of the two Great Commandments is for people to love others as we love ourselves. Loving ourselves is at the core of a healthy self-esteem. The only way to experience this is to see what God sees, first in us, then in others. As Christians, this means knowing and believing what God says about us, about who we are and what we have in Him.

Our identity comes from God, not from our past history, good or bad, or from what we may have accomplished. When we know who we are in Christ, we are able to love ourselves. It is not the physical person standing in the mirror that we are loving, but the person God created that lives in that body in the mirror.

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